I'll Read It To You!

Fans, two of my personalities, Thomas Churchwell and Tarquin Churchwell, are finally becoming famous! Yep, The Online Report wrote an article about yours trulies. You can read it here or at the bottom of this post.

If anybody wants my autograph, email me.

Here's the article. Happy! Happy!

Churchwell Posts Laced With Poison

By Sam Eagle

Ubiquitous blogger and child pornography fan, Thomas Churchwell, AKA Tarquin Churchwell, posted sexual slurs against another blogger, The Online Report has learned today.

A source, who asked not to be identified, said Churchwell is delusional. "He seems to fancy himself a child porno king, and wants to drag other bloggers into his sick games."

According to published reports, Mr. Churchwell lives in a group home for the mentally ill. He has been unemployed for the past ten years.

An ongoing target is Ms. Scarlett, who Churchwell describes as a blogging rival, according to Internet sources. Records dating back to 2006 show Churchwell stalking this blogger, repeatedly trying to drive her off the Internet, and calling her degrading names. The Online Report uncovered numerous posts in which Churchwell referred to her as a "child porno writer." Today, Churchwell called her a "rejected online prostitute."

His rants are libel, friends say. "Not only is Scarlett respected in the community, she is a very strong person with a definite moral compass. People should know that she's a young godmother, loyal friend, a hard worker and member of her church."

A blogger summed it up this way, "Churchwell is sick. He won't leave her alone."

Insiders agree that Churchwell is on a downward spiral. Said one, "Thomas Churchwell hates women."

No word yet whether Churchwell is planning to resume therapy.

February 19, 2008 at 7:14 AM