There are still something like 20 shopping days left till Christmas, but I, Tarquin Churchwell, am already sick of the holidays. Here are the top ten signs:
10. I've got dark circles under my tattoos
10. I've got dark circles under my tattoos
9. I'm eating elf pot pie
8. When I hear, "Do you hear what I hear?," I scream, "No! I don't hear it, dum dum!"
7. I climb on the roof and start shooting SUS staff with my BB gun
6. Christmas trees are laughing at me
5. Instead of spending time with family, I'm thinking up lies to put on my blog
4. I got busted for riding the subway wearing nothing but a Santa hat
3. I got something that looks like eggnog coming out of my keyboard
2. My standard response, "And Merry Christmas to you too, asswipe"
1. Tinsel burn!
