As usual, I've been snapping reputations like twigs on a Christmas tree on my hater sites, so I decided to lug my bulk over here and post introspectively.
What, you didn't think I knew that word, or that I could spell it? You thought that if I hadn't spent so much of my life doing evil, I would've had time to learn how to spell? Well, you're a bunch of dum dums.
I hate you, bloggers. All you ever whine about is:
"Read me!" "Read me!"
And I'm no different. I'm like a trained pooch trying to get attention from the humans.
At least some bloggers get paid to write.
Or if I hadn't blown it with Scarlett last year, we could be having phone sex right now -- and that would be one person reading my blog.
"But no," she said. "You're a big fat liar!"
I would quit blogging right now, but I have too much hatred in my heart to not ruin everyone's holidays. Plus, I'm a Libra. Very wishy washy. That's why I'm going to let Fate decide. Whoever writes the SECOND comment -- I want you to tell me whether to continue blogging or to quit after Hannukah or Christmas. Whichever comes last.
YOUR DECISION will be final, fans. You will decide the future of Tarquin Churchwell...
