I posted a lot of hate yesterday. Fans, I want every Google search of my name to turn up nothing but bad, bad crap.
Sometimes I blame my blog tirades on manic depression. Sounds cool to say this, because a lot of celebs claim they have it. But is this really what's wrong with me? Or, is this like the times when I indulge my persecution complex by saying I'm a Jew? I am not a Jew, nor do I have many of the symptoms of manic depression. I probably have what's known as a borderline personality disorder.
One of the “haters” jotted down some notes, so that I can show them to my therapist. It's unlikely I will do this.
Again, these are NOT MY THOUGHTS:
I can’t tell the difference between lies and truth.
I blame others for everything that happens to me.
No insight. I do not see myself as others see me.
My relationships. I alternate between neediness, arrogance, rage and suspicion. I use people and can't identify with them.
Paranoid thinking. I am always on the lookout for an attack.
No job. I actually resent having to do anything and expect praise all out of proportion.
I don’t understand cause and affect. I attack people and become outraged, when they react. I think I should get a free pass on my conduct and be treated with tenderness and indulgence like a child, because I am “ill.”
I spend so much time getting myself in and out of trouble, in making the most complicated efforts not to work, or to face my problems, that I have no energy left for normal thinking.
I use my good qualities, like my sense of humor, in a negative way to ridicule others.
Throughout my life, people have tried to help me, but I am stuck in Victim-land. Only I, with the help of a patient therapist, can pull myself out of it...
BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.
Sometimes I blame my blog tirades on manic depression. Sounds cool to say this, because a lot of celebs claim they have it. But is this really what's wrong with me? Or, is this like the times when I indulge my persecution complex by saying I'm a Jew? I am not a Jew, nor do I have many of the symptoms of manic depression. I probably have what's known as a borderline personality disorder.
One of the “haters” jotted down some notes, so that I can show them to my therapist. It's unlikely I will do this.
Again, these are NOT MY THOUGHTS:
I can’t tell the difference between lies and truth.
I blame others for everything that happens to me.
No insight. I do not see myself as others see me.
My relationships. I alternate between neediness, arrogance, rage and suspicion. I use people and can't identify with them.
Paranoid thinking. I am always on the lookout for an attack.
No job. I actually resent having to do anything and expect praise all out of proportion.
I don’t understand cause and affect. I attack people and become outraged, when they react. I think I should get a free pass on my conduct and be treated with tenderness and indulgence like a child, because I am “ill.”
I spend so much time getting myself in and out of trouble, in making the most complicated efforts not to work, or to face my problems, that I have no energy left for normal thinking.
I use my good qualities, like my sense of humor, in a negative way to ridicule others.
Throughout my life, people have tried to help me, but I am stuck in Victim-land. Only I, with the help of a patient therapist, can pull myself out of it...
BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.
